Blogging has taught me a lot about myself. When i started blogging about ten years ago, I had a blog where I talked about my daily life and tied them to yoga lessons, or things I’d learned on the mat that transferred to my everyday life. When I started A Yogi Kitchen I was determined that it would be about food and yoga, my two passions. More often than not, I think I write about my life and how the yoga lessons transfer.
That has been a lesson right there. So often I focus on what I think I should be doing, instead of what comes naturally to me. Having just co-taught a workshop on shame with the fabulous therapist Abby Young, I know how damaging the word should is. I’ve learned to identify the places in my life where I use it.
I use it a lot when I think about blogging.
Years ago, my teacher taught me a valuable lesson. A little bit often. She meant it in terms of yoga. I always want to be the A+ student. I want to do everything now, everything at once and become stellar. As you can guess that’s rarely how it works. She taught me that by practicing a little bit often I get more enjoyment out of my practice , I learn poses quicker and I get the benefits more completely.
As is always the case with Melissa, it takes me a long time to learn the lessons. I know this, right? And yet, I pressure myself to blog everyday, which completely backfires and I don’t blog for months at a time. I’m trying to be who I think I should be instead of being okay with Melissa.
When I’m on the mat more consistently these lessons seem to stick a little better, stay in my mind a little longer. Life gets busy and there are students to teach and dinner to plan and even teachers don’t always get on the mat as much as we’d like sometimes.
I’ve taken a few workshops with yogi Erich Schiffman, but the lesson that made a huge difference was when someone asked him how often he practiced and he said as often as he could. He didn’t say 90 minutes everyday or 60 minutes three times a week. He said, when he could. He pointed out that everyday is different and when he travels and teaches he might not practice on his own at all. I can’t tell you how powerful that was for me. It gave me permission to not beat myself up for missing a practice or two or ten. It gave me permission to just be Melissa and listen to the flow of my own life.
Right now I’m in a place where writing doesn’t feel like a chore. It feels freeing and enjoyable. So I write more. I’d like to continue with this momentum, but for today I’m just going to be in the flow and not worry about the shoulds.