Winter is when we turn in. It’s when we get quiet, hibernate and work on ourselves. It’s when we dream and plan.
I’ve been doing that. If you listen to the podcast, you know that I haven’t been posting. I’m just back to blogging and posting in the community, because I’ve been getting quiet.
We’re finally having tiny breaks in the cold.
Today, I’m in Lawrence, KS and we’re getting into the high 40s. Kansas is weird, in that we get these short bursts of unseasonably warm weather in the middle of winter. When we first moved here, my daughter was a toddler and every January for three years, we got a week of 80 degree weather. My daughter learned to ride her tricycle, barefoot in January.
Last year, as I traveled, every where I went would get little burst of warm weather. Not 80 degrees, but Chicago, New York and Lawrence would all get days that were at least 50 degrees. Sometimes warmer and sometimes for a few days. I’d miss it every single time. I’d land and the weather would be harsh and my friends would say, “Oh, you should have been here last week, it was beautiful.” I, on the other hand, had a very long, very hard winter. Remember, last year was the year that we got snow in April over much of the country.
So, this year, I’m enjoying my little breaks from winter. When the polar vortex hit Chicago, we high-tailed it for the warmer weather in Lawrence. It got to 60 degrees that week. Recently we got to enjoy some 50 degree weather in Chicago.
Even though it’s been warmer, it’s still the quiet months of winter. The days are still shorter. We’re still bundling up and watching too much Netflix, but it’s also been a great time to get quiet and enjoy the gifts of the dark season.
The gifts have been many. This slowing down period has allowed me time, space and energy to dream and to just be. There is a peace and a stillness to just learning to be.
I’m used to just sitting on the mat. My meditation time has often been mindful movement, long walks with the dog, or on the beach. I like to mindfully wash dishes and vacuum, but there have been days when I don’t know what to do with myself. I read. I’m just quiet. And it’s a joy.
What would your life look like if you just had time to be? What if you could carve out time for yourself not to run errands, or catch up on Netflix shows, but quiet to just relax, breathe and sit? What would that look like?
One of the things that this last few months has given me is space to understand, really get it in my bones, that my worth is not tied into my productivity. It’s given me time to ask myself what is my worth tied into? Am I worthy of love and belonging if I’m just me, sitting in a chair by the window?
We all crave love and belonging. We all crave worthiness, but who decides that for you? Does you boss? Your partner? Your kids? Is it tied to your bank account, stuff or volunteer hours?
Can you be worthy of love and belonging if you sit on the subway train all day and sleep at Grand Central Station? Is that any less deserving of love and belonging than raising children and running errands all day? Does getting stuff done make you worthy?
The slow answers are obvious for me. My worthiness is not tied into any of that. It’s not tied into my pant size, how many people I teach, how many animals I rescue or what I cook for my family.
Now, I can’t decide this for you. No one can. Only you can decide where your worth lies. For me, my worthiness is tied to being a human, a beautifully flawed human who lives and breaths on this planet.
Period.
We are all, each and every one of us, deserving of love and belonging Every single one of us.
The sweet lesson in this quiet time of little activity is that when I sit with that, when I breathe into that, there is freedom and joy. Freedom means possibilities to me. It means choice. It means picking the life I really want. And it also means knowing what that means. Getting quiet allows me to know what that means.
Do you know what the life that you really want means? Do you know how to figure that out?
I invite you to take some time for yourself to just sit and be quiet while we’re still in winter for a little longer. Soon, we’ll want to be out more, want to be more active, be eager to plant and grow and try new recipes. Soon, the weather will inspire us into creative activity.
Until the, I invite you to just take a bit of time each day to just sit quietly by the window. What will your gifts be?
A Yogi Kitchen 